Written by Monkey Woods
Rating:

Share/Bookmark
Print this

Wednesday, 25 April 2007

image for Stevie Wonder Misplaces Sunglasses, Regains Sight
"Ebony and Ivory?" What a load of crap!

Stevie Wonder, the aging, blind, black pianist, had his prayers answered yesterday morning, when he rose from his slumbers to discover that HE COULD SEE AGAIN!

Mr Wonder, now 91, woke around 6am to find he had misplaced his huge black sunglasses.

However, to his surprise and amazement, he also realised that, after being blind since just after his birth, he'd regained his sight, and did not now need to wear the sunglasses that, coincidentally, he had worn since the day he went blind.

"Shiiit!" What a coincidence!", remarked the star, "On the very day that the Lord giveth me back my eyes, he hath taken away my glasses! Shiiiiit!"

Doctors are baffled by, what they are saying, is a miracle.

Eye surgeon Sim Planser said:

"I can't quite believe that, after all those years of tinkling away on the ivories wearing those huge black shades, Mr Wonder can see again! It's miraculous!"

Stevie had massive hits in the 70s and 80s with songs such as "Happy Birthday", "Master Baiter" and "I Just Called To Say I Love You", as well as the terrible 1982 flop "Ebony And Ivory", a duet with the recently murdered and now-dead ex-Soviet spy, Alexander Litvinenko.

Wonder had become so attached to his spectacles though, that he has offered a $5000 reward for information leading to their return.

The wrap-around shades are made from black titanium steel, and are easily recognisable due to having been on his face every time you saw a picture of him.

Make Monkey Woods's day - give this story five thumbs-up (there's no need to register, the thumbs are just down there!)

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

If you fancy trying your hand at comedy spoof news writing, click here to join!

Print this


Share/Bookmark

Mailing List

Get Spoof News in your email inbox!

Email:

What's 1 plus 1?

7 8 13 2

Go to top