Written by queen mudder
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Monday, 23 April 2007

image for GMTV systematically defrauded viewers
Genetically modified TV turning the nation into witless morons

London - (Ass Mess): GMTV, the genetically-modified London broadcaster, has been accused of systematically ripping off viewers with a daily diatribe of relentless pap masquarading as bona fide news items.

These findings by TV rivals BBC Panorama say that one good example was GMTV's remorseless touting of the Prince William and Kate Middleton royal engagement which from 2006 the show was talking up:

"Make sure they never find out you are picking the winners early," was the GMTV producers' instructions to the show's anchorwoman Lorraine Kelly.

And gullible viewers bought the plot hook line and sinker!

Now high street retailer Woolworths is believed to be taking action over the early morning disinformation channel after its entire 2007 sales strategy was built up around GMTV advice that said to expect a royal wedding 'sometime in June'.

The store chain has lost an estimated £50 million in crockery sales after having to send its royal engagement commemorative memorabilia mugs to landfill sites when Middleton dumped William earlier last week.

In addition, irate punters who watched the breakfast show before laying out a fortune at the bookies on odds of 3/1 for the royal wedding are threatening to sue the broadcaster for systematic fraud.

An industry spokesman has said today that the situation is no "completely shambolic" and that the ITV station faces imminent meltdown.

An update on the crisis is expected soon.

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