London - (Ass Mess): Ex-royal wannabe Kate Middleton is to audition for the remake of the 1915 American silent short film A Woman Scorned in what has been billed as a £5 million movie contract brokered by connections of Quentin Tarrantino.
Middleton, 25, will play the role of a long-suffering deaf/mute fashion model hired by a dubious British gangster family whose eldest son needs an urgent image make-over after being caught in flagrente shagging the head of MI6 and his bactrian camel Idi.
Kazakhstani actor Mr Borat is auditioning for the co-star role of Hellfire William who leads her a merry dance before being dumped over a rent boy.
The plot revolves around how the heroine secretly falls in love with the prospect of a billionaire lifestyle funded by the Saudis as part of their British Aerospace deal of oil for arms backhanders.
Auditions for minor supporting roles include Brad Pitt for the younger idiot brother Harry and Michael Jackson as Elizabeth II.
Shooting commences on location in June.