Written by carina-eta
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Topics: BBC, Doctor Who, Dalek

Saturday, 21 April 2007

image for Daleks in BBC Shocker
Gummiberry juice is actually cocaine laced ethanol

In a shock statement by the BBC today it was revealed that the actors used inside the shells of the terrifying Daleks in the new Dr Who series are in fact Gummi-bears. A spokesman today commented that the only creatures small enough to fit in the gaps left by the recently deceased Davros and his crew were the long redundant colourful bears famous for "bouncing here and there and everywhere."

A Gummi-bear, who did not wish to be named today commented: "We haven't been in the public eye for a long time you know and this was the opportunity we were looking for. We nearly got onto Celebrity Big Brother at one point, but Jade Goody and her family got in first."

A BBC spokesman stated that it was felt that revealing that Gummi-bears were operating the Daleks may have detracted from the fear factor with the target audience and the decision to reveal the true identity of the Daleks was not taken lightly. In fact it seems that the story only came to light when a drunken, cocaine-addled Gummi-bear was filmed falling out of a Dalek shell, retching violently, then climbing back in by an Italian paparazzi.

Rumours that Gummi-bears were used as screen doubles for Tom Cruise in Mission Impossible 3 were today laughed off by their agent. "That's the blue care bear" he commented.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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