Written by queen mudder

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Tuesday, 17 April 2007

image for Gere flees to Kathmandu
Gere was air lifted to satefy

Mumbai - (Ass Mess): After causing widespread riots with Shilpa Shetty for his tacky on-stage grope at an Indian truckers' AIDS awareness fun raiser, Hollywood actor Richard Gere has fled to the Himalayas for urgent talks with his PR agent the Dolly Lama in a frantic bid to restore some credibility to his shredded reputation.

Shetty however could not be persuaded to join him and has gone underground in a New Dehi basement beauty salon where emergency botox has been administered to repair Gere-ravaged areas of her anatomy which crumpled under his lustful sweaty grip.

Gere is best known for his inhumanitarian work such as tacky Julia Roberts films like Pretty Woman.

He was in India earlier this week to take part in a fun raising event promoting safe sex for Indian truckers who have been described by Playboy India magazine as some of the horniest hetero men on the planet.

But the campaign turned out to be hugely different from the original script which saw Gere veering off the road as his lustful thoughts overcame any sensible brain matter remaining and he bent back Shilpa Shetty in a full 'True Lies' tango-type grope before smothering her body in frantic foreplay.

The Dalai Lama is 69.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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