Written by Wildjesusfishkid
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Tuesday, 17 April 2007

image for Shilpa Shetty Defend-sh Gere
Gere sure has let himself go

Celebrety Big Brother winner and former nobody, Shilpa Shetty has been defending Richard Gere after the ageing actor tried to repeatedly kissing her at an Aids event.

Shilpa countered the attacks by using her Indian martial arts skills she has learned by dancing around in all those bloody cheesy Bollywood films. Shilpa was reported to have chinned a couple of pensioners and kicked a bloke in the nads who had allegedly laughed at Gere's pulling technique.

She was reported to have said, "That'll learn 'em"

The man told us afterwards, "My nuts are really sore. She is such a daft cow, he was all over her like a rash and was dribbling on her breasts as he didn't have his teeth in"

A informant from the Gere camp mentioned to us in confidence that Richard thought she was a tranny with Aids and kissed her to show that the he doesn't care if he catches the infection.

"He even sat on the same toilet seat as her although he could have waited until she had finished her poo before going into her cubicle."

Apparently, Shilpa's baby making part is bigger than his but we think she uses one of those pump thingies off the internet to make it bigger.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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