Written by Jalapenoman
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Monday, 16 April 2007

image for Don Imus Gets Job Offer From MC Hammer
...not the type of snake Hammer is referring to.

Don Imus, the former radio shock jock who was fired for controversial remarks about the Rutgers University women's basketball team, has obtained a new job. The man most recently famous for talking about nappy headed hos will now write lyrics about them to help the musical comeback of MC Hammer.

Hammer was a brief, flash in the pan, one hit wonder from the 90's with the hit "It's Hammer Time." He had a quick rise to stardom in his way too puffy pants and was soon back living in the single-wide. He has new plans to return to the music industry and feels that Don Imus is the man who can do it for him.

Hammer said in an exclusive interview that "nappy headed ho is just priceless. Them other rappers call them just plain old bitches and hos, but it takes a special man with words to call them nappy headed hos. We gonna have albums goin' platinum in a few months with my singin' and his writin'."

When asked if Imus had said anything to him yet to make him think he had more cute phrases up his sleeve, Hammer answered positively. "When we first met, he told me that he thought my big-ass pants were trying to compensate for a tiny tweeter. Tiny tweeter....I like that. It ain't true or nothin', but he's goin' to write a song now why whities with tiny tweeters can't satisfy the nappy headed hos and they need brothas with big black Alabama blacksnakes. We gonna get along jus fine!"

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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