Written by Quorum of One
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Topics: Music

Sunday, 15 April 2007

image for Congress adopts legislation on talent-to-looks ratio in recording industry

The United States Congress has followed the lead of the Executive Council of the European Union in passing strongly-worded legislation that makes it a crime for record producers to sign contracts with singers based on decisions in which physical appearance counts for more than 20%.

The so-called "Milli's Law" mandates prison terms of up to 10 years and fines of $50,000 to $1,000,000 for "anyone who willfully places a drool-inspiring, scantily-clad slab of pulchritude, male or female, in front of an open microphone without first ascertaining that he or she knows middle C from an elk fart."

Share prices in Sony, Warner, Virgin, MCI and Island Records all plummeted upon announcement of the new law, which goes into effect on June 1st.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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