SANTA MARIA, Calif. - Pop superstar Michael Jackson arrived 21 minutes late to his arraignment, which had been scheduled for 8:30 a.m. PST. Superior Court Judge Rodney S. Melville scolded him saying, "Mr. Jackson, you have started out on the wrong foot here-"
Michael interrupted His Honor saying, "I'm a professional dancer/choreographer, it's impossible for me to get off on the wrong foot." He then went into a convulsionary dance move that was pure Michael Jackson which lasted precisely 37.8 seconds ending with the courtroom bursting into cheers and screams.
After order was restored Judge Melville asked Jackson to enter a plea to the child-molestation charges brought against him. Micheal responded, "Your Honor, I plead guilty..." Everyone gasped in amazement as this was totally unexpected. Jacko stood there looking around the hushed courtroom enjoying the shock attention he was receiving. He then continued...
"I plead guilty... to shimone."
The puzzled judge paused for a moment then asked, "Shimone? What's shimone?" Michael answered, "This is. HIT IT BOYS!" Jackson then jumped on the table in front of him, ripped off his jacket, grabbed his crotch, squealed out a "HEEE heee," and went into another dance sequence.
At the same time, twelve Jackson implants, all guys, stood up, threw off their jackets, and danced around the courtroom somewhat synchronized, yet each a little different. The lights were turned off and other implants had flashlights illuminating each performer.
Jackson had someone blowing a fan on him from below causing his shirt and hair to wave behind him, which always looks really really cool. He also verbally provided the music beat for all this with a mixture of sounds something like, "chika chika boom, chika chika cheeow eow, chika chika boom, chika chika cheeow eow, oomph ungh!"
It is believed that everyone in the courtroom was a Jackson implant except Judge Melville. Other implants were camera men, sound technicians, lighting technicians, make-up artists, and a director.
This whole sex scandal thing is apparently a ruse designed for publicity. He never was "officially" charged with child-molestation. It was all a grand hoax.
Michael and his dance team then moon-walked outside where he jumped on top of an SUV with a cameraman and continued performing to throngs of supporters.
They then left the scene headed to the Neverland Jackson estate for a post-production party. The events here today will be appearing in a video for Jackson's new album due out this spring called Shimone Peaches.