Written by Fergus McCarthy
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Thursday, 12 April 2007

image for Britney, Paris and Antonella to star in violent Tarantino 'Chick Flick'
Britney Spears, master of disguise in the new Tarantino flick

It's no secret that Quentin Tarantino enjoys the shock factor in his movies, that all important car crashy scene where you know you should be looking away but you just have to look, think Michael Madsen giving someone a Van Gogh and you get the picture.

Horrific, terrifying visual images.

Well prepare yourself for his most disturbing offering yet as Tarantino unleashes his own unique interpretation of the Alexander Dumas novel 'The Three Musketeers'.

Britney Spears, Paris Hilton and her orally talented rival Antonella Barba have all signed up to play the parts of 'Avus', 'Porkus' and 'Orifice' in the aptly named 'The Three Muffketeers"

Tarantino at a press conference yesterday explained "Yeah the girls are gonna put a totally new and exiting slant on the whole French thing, ultimately it's gonna be a chick flick but with a twist, these girls are gonna have balls, not real balls because it aint that kinda movie I mean they are gonna be killers, cold blooded killers, the scene where Britney does the photographer with an umbrella has to be seen to be believed."

Set in 'Gay Paris', the city not the airhead...... sorry heiress, the muffkeers have to find a nuclear bomb,... Or a deadly virus in an aerosol spray,....Or something, hidden somewhere or other by a terrorist or someone.

Does it really matter?

The three girls show off their remarkable talents as Spooks working 'under the covers' for the French Secret Service, Ms Spears is a master of disguise, Ms Hilton plays the part of a goodtime girl in a seedy night club while Ms Barba is a sword swallower in the circus.

Nicole Ritchie will play the sword.

'Dart'Onion' will be played by Oscar winner 'Hilary Swank' because Tarantino thinks her name is really funny.

In Cinemas soon.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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