Written by Jalapenoman
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Topics: Divorce, Brady Bunch

Thursday, 12 April 2007

image for Danny "Partridge" Bonaduce Getting A Divorce
Little Danny Partridge is off to divorce court

Danny Bonaduce, who became famous as Danny Partridge of televisions "The Partridge Family" was served with divorce papers by his wife of sixteen years. The actor/reality show star/radio personality seemed to take it in stride and admitted that he knew the divorce was coming.

"I thought things were looking suspicious when she started cutting the "D" out of the monogrammed towels, the wedding pictures were torn in half, the dog only peed on my side of the bed, and my toothbrush was always getting used to scrub the toilet. Things finally fell into place when she sent me an e-mail with a list of lawyers."

Gretchen Bonaduce seeks custody of the Partridge Family bus, 50% of her husband's share of royalties, and "a buttload of money." She will allow him to keep his costumes from the show as "they don't fit me and they're all that stupid looking seventies stuff anyway."

When told that she could not expect the Heather Mills McCartney type of settlement ($56 million), Gretched was slightly upset. "What do you mean the Partridge Family never sold as many albums as the Beatles? Would it help if I cut my leg off?"

Danny, meanwhile, ran to Office Depot to puchase a new "little black book." His first phone call was to Fox Studios to see if he could get the numbers for Antonella Barba, Alaina Alexander, or Shyamali Malakar (the three former American Idol contestants whose naked pictures dominate the internet). His second call was to his agent, to try to track down the numbers of Paris Hilton, Britney Spears, Lindsay Lohan, and Angelina Jolie. "Hey," said Danny, "you know me. The skankier, the better!"

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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