Written by Moose&Squirell
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Thursday, 12 April 2007

image for Death Takes Vacation In Hawaii
Death plays a final round of golf at the Royal Kaanapali course in Maui

TOMBSTONE, NETHERVOID--(NECRO PRESS) "After being on the job, what looks like...Forever! I decided to take a break from all the doom & gloom and step out among the living to smell the flowers" says our eventual friend Mr. Death, "Sitting their night after night working, just sucks the life outta you. Like the old saying goes, 'All work and no play makes Jack a Zombie!' Well...make my Zombie a double, bartender! Hee-Hee-Hee!"

"I have alway wanted to go to Hawaii and go golfing on Maui. Though my power swing is to die for, I maybe a little rusty with a golf club, but, I keep in practice with my scythe. I just line up my shot for that little cup, give it a tap...Wham! It's over!", giggles his Darkness. "On my first day on the green I had brought my dear horse, Necrophilia, so she could caddy for me. It went pretty good, but, ole Necro hasn't gotten use to all this color and sunshine. She would winnie & stamper and so I sang her favorite song in her ear...'a horse is a horse, a corpse, a corpse', she heard that and quickly settled down. I just love that pony!"

The Grim Reaper played tourist while visiting Hawaii and enjoyed its' many attractions. He enjoyed the cemetery tours a lot, calling out every name inscribed on the head stones & telling the other sightseers, how he knows them all and what put them in the ground. He was sadden a bit to know when he would introduce himself, many asked if they could take a picture with him, which he so kindly gave permission. But, alas his image just doesn't photograph. "Oh well..." He would tell them, "...we'll run into each other again, Hee-Hee-Hee!"

The master of stillness went to a luau and was dragged on stage by pretty Hawaiian girls and they taught him how to Hula. "I don't know when I had such a good time telling a tale with just my hands & swinging my hips!".

His last stop was at the U.S.S. Arizona Memorial, where he talked for hours with the sailors who are buried there in the rusty hulk. Saying, "Those sailor boys really know how to have a good time! I'm going to have a lot to write in my diary when I get back."

Death reminds us that, "Theoretically speaking, these next four days will empower you in tasting the forbidden fruit of immortality...if not briefly! So go ahead...enjoy it. I know you're just dying to! hee-hee-hee! See you soon!"

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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