Written by Fergus McCarthy
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Topics: Music, U2, The Corrs

Monday, 9 April 2007

image for Corrs unveil Larry Mullen Jr and shock new image.
Andrea and Sharon pointing on stage at the Point Depot yesterday

Larry Mullen Jr joined the Corrs this week sparking a musical merry go round as U2 scrambled to find a new drummer to finish recording their new album "How to save the world and reduce your tax bill with Honours"

Ringo Starr was spotted at Bono's Killiney residence in Dublin last night prompting a flood of bets at the bookies on the ex Beatle becoming the new band member.

But the real news story was unfolding across the city at Dublin's Point Depot as the Corrs played their first concert with Larry Mullen Jr on drums and brother Jim on keyboards for his last performance before he leaves the group to go hunting for new ponies on the Shetland Isles.

Andrea, Sharon and Caroline shocked the audience to the core when they arrived on stage with platinum blonde hair, and new boob jobs liberally displayed in outfits normally only seen in Lingerie catalogues and pay TV channels.

Andrea, clad in a leather dominatrix outfit complete with whip, kicked off the show with a high tempo punk version of 'runaway' before writhing provocatively on a lap dancing pole to an AC/DC inspired version of 'Breathless'.

Caroline was on fire on as her 3 minute guitar solo showed that she can mix it up with any of rocks greatest axemen, Larry played the gig with a huge grin on his face and seemed for the first time in years to be enjoying himself.

Sharon played violin like a maniac and urged the the stunned audience;

'Come on Dublin, let's blow the roof off this feckin dump!'

They finished the gig with a reggae version of 'Everybody hurts' before smashing their instruments to pieces and flouting the smoking ban by lighting up as they strutted off stage.

Speaking afterwards Andrea told our reporter "It was Larry's idea, he told us that the secret to U2's success is that they are constantly evolving, both musically and with their image, we just took his advice he knows so much, he even helped us pick out the outfits"

A visibly shocked fan known only as OzQueen said "I think Larry's a bad influence"
Her friend Larry commented bitterly "Some people just cant let April fools day go!"

Larry told us "U2? I'm staying here, these chicks are way off the scale and they think I'm the biz!!!! For the next gig I'm gonna have them mud wrestling in bikini's, Adam Clayton will be begging to join us"

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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