Cyberspace - (Disaster Press): The YouTube video-sharing website has offered to show how to block unsightly material of cellulite thighs that has insulted a lot of people including an Asiatic despot called King Bum Boil Adulyadej.
The move comes after large parts of Asia banned the whole YouTube site over a slimeshow mocking Bum Boil's own wibble-wobble jelly thighs.
YouTube lawyers have said they would not censor material but agreed some cellulite shots were so pug ugly that giving them bandwidth of any kind amounted to cruel and unusual treatment of subscribers.
Criticising the offending monarch's ample orange peel derriere is fair game according to cyberspace Queensberry Rules.
"If it was a purely artistic decision based on aesthetic grounds then some absolute despots like Saudi Arabia's King Abdullah and Zimbabwe's Robert Mugabe would be better off with a YouFatArseTube website devoted purely to their own blubber.
"This would give jelly-thighed wannabe despots like Cherry Bush her very own dedicated site chance to show off those Barbados family holiday video nasties which made the dead Thames whale seem like Kate Moss after a diet."
Still unresoled are the tricky issued of lese majeste, or crimes of offending fatarse despots with ideas of grandeur way above their stations.
"We're working on it," said a YourTube lawyer. "In the meantime check out the new site!"