Britney Spears, Paris Hilton, and Lindsay Lohan are not happy. Lindsay, famous for her multiple nip-slips, is furious. Paris, famous for her sex tapes and wild lifestyle, is angry. Britney, famous for pictures of her exiting a limo without panties, is irate.
The three starlets are mad about the success of the recent American Idol rejects. In a Hollywood press conference, they jointly released the following statement: "We're mad as hell and we're not going to take it anymore! (we can say that because we're all actresses and have been to the Academy Awards in person.) The three of us have been the most googled and internet searched women in the world for several years, always switching places but never falling from the top. In the past six weeks, we have had to put up with the naked pictures of Antonella, then Alaina, and now Shyamali. They have knocked up off our perch and we are not going to stand for it. We challenge these girls to a real skank-off to see who has the staying power and the best boobs!"
Antonella Barba, Alaina Alexander, and Shyamali Malakar (sister of Sanjaya) are all former American Idol contestants who have recently posted pictures (or had someone else post them) of themselves on the internet. All of them are naked in several of the photos.
When asked what exactly constituted a skank-off, the women had no idea. "We haven't really thought about that and don't really have an idea (nothing unusual with that statement). We do know that the reporters, photographers, and paparrazzi need to follow us around a lot more because we might pop out at any moment. We've drawn a line in the dirt and we're throwing down our panties!"
When told that the expressions were "line in the sand" and "thrown down the gauntlet," Lindsay responded with "Yeah, whatever!"
"We're out for blood now and those amatuer porn queens don't have a chance against the real thing!"