Written by Dee
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Topics: Movies, Will Smith

Friday, 6 April 2007

Fayetteville - AR. Movie-goer Chuck Thayer, 28, of Springdale, AR admitted Friday to being "pleasantly surprised" with actor Will Smith's performance in the new-to-theaters drama Pursuit of Happyness.

"At first I was leery of watching another Will Smith movie." Thayer stated early Friday when asked about the prior night's viewing. When long-time friend Rachael Woods suggested it their monthly movie night, Thayer admitted that he was "A bit disappointed in her selection knowing good and well that she too has an aversion to Will Smith films." Apparently the two have had a long history of complaints with Smith's over-the-top "attempt" at dramatic acting in such movies as the 1996 summer blockbuster Independence Day and the star-studded Western Wild Wild West. "He's just too much sometimes. Does he think he's Wayne Brady?"

Recent disappoints from the 38 year-old actor includes the romantic comedy Hitch. Thayer stated that while he appreciated the plot, and comedic genius of Kevin James (King of Queens), "Will Smith's character kept spouting out proverbs, most of which I couldn't understand the meaning of. Like there's that one part where he says, 'Because that's what people do. They leap, and hope to God they can fly, because otherwise you just drop like a rock, wondering the whole way down, why in the h*ll did I jump? But here I am, Sarah, falling, and the only one that makes me feel like I can fly... is you.'"

"I was so lost by the end of this rambling bullsh*t excuse for an attempted 'win-back' that I forgot what he was talking about." Thayer added, "Don't get me started on his repeated use of "the moments that take your breath away" - I could have used that cheese for my nachos last night."
While the writing of Hitch can't directly be blamed on the Bad Boys star, the delivery most certainly is a result of his inability to take on a serious role "without acting like the Fresh Prince of Bel-Air."

While Thayer would not give comment on Men In Black [parts 1 or 2] or the 2005 sci-fi thriller I, Robot, he did allude to these and other Will Smith films when expressing his distaste for the actor's constant use of the phase "Ah hell no!" in "just about every g*ddamn movie he's in."
"I knew from the start that this movie [Happyness] was going to make me angry because they had misspelled a word in the title. I just got this sinking feeling down in my gut that it was going to mirror an off-beat Jim Carey satire," Carey of course being another of Thayer's most acclaimed "Hollywood disappointments". "That and the fact that the movie was about a man who was homeless and then he was a stock broker. That pissed me off. I'm white and I went to college and he's still going to be making way more money than I'll ever make."

He agreed to see the movie with his friend on the premonition that "Any Will Smith movie will almost always end in heckling laughter from the absurdities represented in his broke-a$s acting." And because "it had some little boy with an afro in it, which is always cute."

Thayer had a change of heart this morning while pondering the movie on the drive to work. "I was thinking about it this morning and I was shocked and amazed when I realized that as much as I hate Will Smith, I wasn't annoyed by his acting in this movie. I was delightfully surprised at his attempt at this dramatic role. He was even good at crying." He added, "Of course, I didn't like the narration. I thought those could have been better written because I think they were supposed to be light-hearted and comical, but really they just sounded like poorly rhymed Dr. Seuss verses."

All in all, the outing proved to be worth at least ½ of the $7.75 spent to enter the doors of the theater. "I figured it would just be a good time and some cheap laughs, but I walked out of there a changed man ready to take on my American dream."

When asked if he'd consider seeing another Will Smith in the future, Thayer stated, in his best Will Smith (circa Enemy of the State) impression, "Ah Hell No!"

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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