Written by Jalapenoman
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Tuesday, 3 April 2007

image for Knight Rider Trans Am Kitt Up For Sale
KITT does not understand the need for speed

K.I.T.T., The Knight Industries Two Thousand talking car from the 80's television show Knight Rider, is up for sale. The car, which had artificial intelligence, spoke, nad had an attitude helped David Hasselhoff to catch the bad guys in the weekly series.

Now, the 1982 car (which has been restored) is past its original prime. While it still may look as good as it did on the show, it does have some problems. For example:

1. The car refuses to accelerate past 55 m.p.h. on the freeways. KITT feels that this was the speed limit back then, and if it was good enough for the 80's, it is good enough for today.

2. The car will play only rock and roll oldies or easy listening on the radio (with cassette player and no CD). KITT also refuses to turn up the volume and hates "that damned noise" cars play today.

3. The car, off of the freeway, refuses to go past the speed limit and insists on driving 35 most of the time.

4. It is necessary to add Geritol to the oil.

5. Like most old folks, this one has its creaks and leaks.

6. KITT constantly speaks about the good old days and tells people that when he went to the garage, he actually saw Manny, Moe, and Jack (The Pep Boys) and they all had dark hair.

7. KITT begins using his turn signal half a mile before each turn, then slows to an almost complete stop before turning.

8. KITT is fond of telling everyone that he used to have to walk to the garage for his oil change each month in the snow, uphill both ways.

9. The car is, like most old people, very repetitive in it's story telling (repeating the same tales constantly, even though they were told the prior day or hour).

10. KITT refers to everyone as Michael.

11. Kitt is fond of telling everyone that he used to have to walk to the garage for his oil change each month in the snow, uphill both ways (see #9).

12. While the shocks have been replaced, the car still has the shakes. It also cannot hold its radiator flood and has to be flushed several times a day.

Experts believe that the car will sell for about $150,000.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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