Written by Jalapenoman
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Monday, 2 April 2007

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Britney gets to keep her panties in the divorce settlement (both pair)

Britney Spears and Kevin Federline are now officially ex-husband and ex-wife. They finished working out the details of their divorce yesterday in Los Angeles with their attorneys present.

Some of the details are as follows:

Britney gets:

  • her wigs
  • Paris Hilton
  • Her mouseketeer Ears
  • Her tattoos
  • Her panties (with a promise to wear them faithfully)
  • The Kids (except when partying or in rehab)
  • The money
  • The homes
  • The cars
  • Swimming pools, movie stars

Kevin will receive

  • The kids (21 hours a day, when Britney is partying or in rehab)
  • His tattoos
  • All proceeds from his singing and acting careers (estimated at $895 per year)
  • No spousal support
  • The taco bell gift certificates
  • His posee
  • Zero talent
  • The shaft
  • 1000 free anytime minutes and 100 text per month on Britney's cell phone plan
  • His tacky hats

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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