Written by Jalapenoman
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Monday, 2 April 2007

image for Britney Spears and Kevin Federline Finalize Divorce Decree Details
Britney gets to keep her panties in the divorce settlement (both pair)

Britney Spears and Kevin Federline are now officially ex-husband and ex-wife. They finished working out the details of their divorce yesterday in Los Angeles with their attorneys present.

Some of the details are as follows:

Britney gets:

  • her wigs
  • Paris Hilton
  • Her mouseketeer Ears
  • Her tattoos
  • Her panties (with a promise to wear them faithfully)
  • The Kids (except when partying or in rehab)
  • The money
  • The homes
  • The cars
  • Swimming pools, movie stars


Kevin will receive

  • The kids (21 hours a day, when Britney is partying or in rehab)
  • His tattoos
  • All proceeds from his singing and acting careers (estimated at $895 per year)
  • No spousal support
  • The taco bell gift certificates
  • His posee
  • Zero talent
  • The shaft
  • 1000 free anytime minutes and 100 text per month on Britney's cell phone plan
  • His tacky hats

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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