Written by queen mudder
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Topics: Britney Spears

Friday, 30 March 2007

image for K-Fed gets $1 million and all Britney's soiled panties
From the heady days of September 2004

California - (Ass Mess): A pre-nup agreeement between Britney Spears and her husband Kevin Federline has seen him accept the original terms under which he was hired in September 2004:

One million dollars, joint parenting expenses and all his wife's soiled undies accrued during the duration of the marriage.

No other trophy items are included in the settlement, especially any undergarments worn or used by Ms Spears prior to the couple's first exchange of bodily fluids.

The couple will retain joint custody of their children, including their underwear and diapers.

Lawyers for Ms Spears have confirmed that Federline has agreed to a gagging clause.

This forbids him from ever selling the panties he has acquired from his wife in the divorce settlement.

But during his lifetime he is permitted to exhibit them to a limited audience which may not pay more than $1,000 a head for the chance to examine the garments in detail.

Royalties accrued from publishing deals from any such exhibition must be paid over to a trust fund account for the couple's two children Sean Preston and Jayden James.

Following his eventual demise, Mr Federline's marriage trophies must pass to the fund to await dispersal of the estate.

A video of the couple's divorce statement is imminent.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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