Written by Fergus McCarthy
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Friday, 30 March 2007

image for Britney Spears to have all her teeth extracted in private clinic.
Britney's radical new image in an attempt to gain musical respectability

First it was her marriage, closely followed by her underwear, next to go was her hair but now Britney Spears really does appear to have lost the plot.

Reports earlier this week indicated that the Dalai Lama of the pop world attended a dental clinic to receive treatment for a broken tooth but the truth or more fittingly the tooth on the Spoof is that Ms Spears is to have all of her teeth extracted in an operation early next week.

A spokeswoman told reporters today that Britney's teeth were due to be recapped in a straight forward procedure in an attempt to offset a minor gum disease complaint but an un-named source close to Britney told the Spoof that there are gaping holes in the official line.

"It's simply not true! There's nothing wrong with her teeth. Not many people know this but Britney is a massive fan of Irish and Scottish folk music and she absolutely idolises Shane McGowan and the Pogues, quite often at her private parties, both she and Paris Hilton would lie on the floor pissed out of their heads singing along to "Fairy Tale of New York" while Matt Dillon dressed as a New York cop would pretend to arrest them."

She continued "It's quite sad really, she feels that she isn't being taken seriously as an artist and wishes to be remembered for her music and not just her looks which is why she has shaved her head and is now having all her teeth taken out. She is also a massive fan of dancing on ice but we've managed to talk her out of having her leg amputated like Heather Mills"

Rumours that the pearly whites are to be auctioned on E-Bay could not be confirmed at the time of going to press.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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