Written by Moose&Squirell
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Tuesday, 27 March 2007

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Britney Spears: "I'd like to change my name to Spear Britney. Everyone seems to like it"

TINSELTOWN, CALIFORNIA-(SHOWBIZKNEWZ)The Balding Bafoony Bubble Brained, Britney Spears, is in the news today. She was admitted this past weekend to Ceder Cyanide Medical Center complaining of a toothache.

Earlier reports have been circulating saying she had been "institutionalized" were false. "No nut house in the world would take her in", chides in, Dr. Rea Tard, "She is too much of a liability. We can't cure the incurable. In Britney's case she suffers from, STUPIDITY, compounded by $40 million in the bank. Ignorance can be cured, Stupidity is forever!!"

Other experts, even in financial circles, concur with this diagnosis. Rich B. Astard, Hollywood Branch Office Manager at Dean-Witter Reynolds Bancrupt Financial states, "If the bitch didn't have a dollar, you'd think she was a typical crack whore with no hair. You wouldn't care what this ex-mouse-ka-turd be doing in her own private Dizzyland"

Quickly putting media controlled rumors to rest, Britney Spears spokesman, Larry Rudnoize, released a statement saying, "Published news items stating that Britney Spears has been permanently checked in to a loony bin are pre-mature and should be ignored for the time being."

"Britney is barely in complete control of her insanity by the tips of her nail bitten fingertips. For the public's safety, her entourage bodyguards are equip with large butterfly nets & fresh panties, in case a re-lapse should occur."

Could it be the fiery fallen femme fatale ready for a flame out?! or the abuse & misuse and sad excuse has cooked her goose? We'll know when the birds finally brought out of the oven. Will she delight again like a Thanksgiving meal with all the fixings or remain in the pan as an un-cooked turkey?! Stay tuned.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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