Written by Ana Ward
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Topics: Britney Spears

Monday, 26 March 2007

Britney Spears is finally out of rehab, and returned to her first love - GIRLS. There has been much speculation about the true desires that plague Ms Spears. On her departure from rehab, she announced that she is coming out for good. On analysing this statement, it is noted that Ms Spears may be spreading her wings to greener, finer pastures - the land of "pussy".

This is a well known girl gang, frequented by Angelina, Jennifer (not on the same day obviously), Ellen, Portia, to name but a few, who assist ladies in find themselves and the road to fantastic multiple orgasms.

Once again Ana Ward makes headlines when she was seen collecting Britney Spears from rehab several hours ago. Ana was first in the news several weeks ago when her and Ellen DeGeneres attempted to adopt Anna Nicole Smith's baby. Britney has been a long time singing friend of Ana's and plans on being her new BFF. Britney was smiling widely while clutching Ana's hand, after spending half an hour in the bushes with Ana, saying good-bye to rehab.

Papparazzi lolling outside the rehab centre managed to ask a few questions. Britney glowingly announced that she had finally found her love and her soulmate. No names were mentioned, but her new BFF seems a favourite.

A recent letter stolen from Britney's rehab dorm will be sold on e-bay for several millions, and shrewed journalist Jo-Anne Dormehl has divulged part of the contents.

"B. baby - you drive me wild and I am rooting for you girl. Come on over to my pad and join our clan - you will love the "girly" stuff we get up to. I am going to .............. (too explicit for viewers of any age)

"Your first love always - A"

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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