Written by Ana Ward
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Topics: Brad Pitt

Monday, 26 March 2007

Brad Pitt has foiled a kidnapping plot by a gang of desperate housewives. Pitt is reported to be quite distressed that Angelina is constantly in the limelight, and is being favoured due to her adoption franchise. He climbed on his bike and rode off into the sunset.

On one his "pitt" stops several young ladies were admiring his "wheels" as well as his "bod" when they decided that he would make for a good "hostage". 3 Gorgeous ladies draped themselves over his bike, but this proved too much for Mr Jolie-Pitt to bear, and he feared that the drool dripping would destroy his leather seat.

Needless to say there were several ladies attached to his waistband trying to draw his attention. Terrified that Angie would hear about this attention, he (with his Troy strength) managed to disentangle himself from the grips of the lovelies and with marathon speed dashed to his bike. Lo and Behold his bike was gone! A smokey vision in the distance, his bike being ridden by one of the hanging goddesses. In his distress, he yelled "Take me and leave the bike!"

Poor Brad is home alone (once again) nursing his loss. He has begged the ladies to return his bike "unharmed". He is devastated over the loss, not even Shiloh can console her daddy. When asked to make a statement, Brad's words were: "Please bring back my bike, take me instead....."

Due to the influx of phone calls a website has been set up for women who claim that they have Mr Pitts bike, but will only return it, when he hands himself over to them.

Mr Pitt is considering Siberia or Antartica as his new home. Angie is beside herself and is threatening to kidnap him herself if he leaves. Mr Pitt is now secretly seeing Dr Christian Troy and Shaun MacNamara to change "what he doesn't like about himself".

Will we see Brad Pitt's gorgeous face again - only the Spoof can tell.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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