Written by baloney
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Topics: George W. Bush

Friday, 9 January 2004

Say hello again to the variety show genre as the President kicks off the campaign season with a bang. With two hundred million campaign dollars to throw around, George W. Bush will be offering a lot more than simple stump speeches. Now, coming each week for your viewing pleasure is "The George W. Bush Variety Show."

In the first installment, the Commander-in-Chief makes a grand (if not grandiose) appearance. No mere flight suit for the chief executive this time, as he drops in by parachute in a skin tight silver body stocking with extra heavy crotch padding. He proceeds to strut his stuff to the blaring tunes of the Village People's "In the Navy."

Next, Laura joins George in song as the two sing a remake of the Captain and Tenille's "Love Will Keep us Together." However the song's words have been cleverly reworked under a new title, "Fraud Will Keep us Elected."

It's time to laugh as the Bush twins show off their comedic skills. In this sketch, Jenna and Barbara stumble around the streets of Houston like drunken buffoons with Secret Service agents clumsily trying to follow after them like federal Keystone Cops. Hilarious.

In perhaps the episode's funniest segment, Dick Cheney and Donald Rumsfield have a secret meeting on how they can blame Bill Clinton for stealing the missing weapons of mass destruction out of Iraq. Don't miss this side splitting satire!

Finally, in what is probably the most disappointing portion of the show, special guest star Ann Coulter marches around the stage in a one woman performance. Calling herself "Hitlery" and donning a Hillary Clinton mask with a Hitler moustache, she proceeds to perform a very stilted goof on the former first lady. This was not an impressive climax to this first show.

So don't miss the George W. Bush Variety show coming to you each Thursday on the Fox News Channel right after that show with Hannity and his doormat.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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