Written by Ana Ward
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Tuesday, 20 March 2007

image for Britney, Paris and Lindsay's "No panties law"
Underpants - Banned

Due to public demand, George Bush (With Bill Clinton's permission and blessing) has now insisted that the "no panties" bill be passed for actresses (and some actors) in order to keep their celebrity status.

There has been a major outcry from "converted" stars like Demi Moore, Pam Anderson and Angelina Jolie who feel that their private parts belong only the pages of the magazines they have already signed up for.

Any actress caught wearing even the tiniest g-string will be fined $500,000.00 and may even spend time in the slamer. Ellen Degeneres has been seen in a dress, after last nights arrest of her life partner Portia, who was wearing Victoria's secret latest fashion matching bra and pantie set UNDER her dress. Ellen however was wearing a slack suit, was let off with a warning and a hefty fine of $200,000.00. Portia is serving a 2 weeks behind bars for resisting arrest and yelling abuse at the arresting officers. When questioned Ellen said she wants to join Portia, as she feels threatened that Portia may become someone's bitch and leave her for the jailbird.

Tom Cruise has now banned Katie from leaving the house until he can set up a meeting with George Bush and have the bill revoked! He feels her private parts belong to him and not does not find her private parts appealing once they have had a "star" pasted on them, as it leaves a bad taste and he has never been one for "sniffing" glue.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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