The results of DNA testing in the Bahamas will establish beyond any doubt that baby Dannielynn is the daughter of Prince William, putting Anna Nicole Smith's daughter second in line to the British throne.
The news, leaked in an anonymous letter to the Spoof from an insider at the Bahamian laboratory where the tests have already been conducted, will be officially revealed in court next week. The judge has barred the baby girl being taken out of the country until a custody ruling is made.
Palace officials are on standby to have Princess Dannielyn flown home to Windsor castle as soon as the paternity results are announced. British intelligence services have known about the relationship between Prince William and Ms Smith for some time, and speculation is already rife in some quarters that they may even have had a hand in her demise.