Written by dav
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Topics: Music

Monday, 19 March 2007

image for Disease Halts Inadequate Musicians
Music is my life

LAS VEGAS--Several individuals with various disabling ailments are slowly fighting back after it became apparent than no one cares about them. The focus of the group who is calling themselves SEA, Surely and Eventually Able, will be drawing attention to the fact that not a single song on the radio features a person battling a lifelong disability, such as autism or Down's syndrome.

Jenifer Cobal, vice-president of North American Alliance & Association of Aware People stated with a slight stutter, "Wwwhen I fist sought wwwaction against the wwwould be arrrtists of the wwworld, I felt hummilliated and inferrrior. Nowww it is time to bring this injustice howwwme."

Even as most of my fellow press agents had smirks that would ruin any casting call, the overall impact seems like it was a welcome one.

Attorney Jack Dunbar stated "The fact that the public is not aware of this prejudice, makes me cold, pressing for redistribution and recording of such classic hits as 'My Funny Valentine', 'Don't it make my brown eyes blue' & 'The Final Countdown' as soon as humanly possible."

It is unclear why he kept speaking to the media even as they started packing up, but his latest remarks are altogether shocking and disturbing.

He continued to rant saying "You will stop mistreating us, and you will not be able to escape either. There are people that will be singing on the radio, and you will have no choice but to listen to what they can do!"

In a press release from the SEA website it states in big bold letters that:

"Just because someone can't sing, or play the drums like Phil Collins, doesn't mean they are not important to the fabrication of humanity."

Based on popularity, no follow-up article is planned.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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