Written by Greg Creedy
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Thursday, 15 March 2007

image for Naked Heather Wants A Quiet Life
Mills McCartney with prosthetic leg

Misshapen model Heather Mills McCartney has tried to appear naked on British television to announce to the world that she is not a publicity seeker.

The much maligned monoped tore off her dress in front of a shocked Michael Parkinson during a special live edition of the presenter's eponymous interview show, Parkinson.

Fortunately for viewers, quick thinking producer Mungo Pop cut to commercials just as Mills's dress was falling to the floor.

"I don't think the viewing public caught much more than a flash of bare breast," he told The Spoof. "Possibly both breasts. But certainly no muff. I saw to that."

The on the ball producer was thanked by God bothering director of Mediawatch-UK John Beyer.

"This man deserves a prize of some sort," said Mr Beyer. "He's done nothing less than save this country from HELL! Heather Mills McCartney ought to be ashamed of herself. Of course, she's done this sort of thing before. I've seen the photos."

In a statement released by her agent, Mills McCartney wrote: "This has all been taken out of context. The dress dropping was simply an attempt to show that I'm ready to return to a simpler, quieter life. It's symbolic. Nakedness equals simplicity. As soon as I find one, I intend to spend the rest of my life in a commune for naked one-legged ex-Beatle's ex-wives."

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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