Written by dalepetrie
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Topics: Meat, Minnesota

Wednesday, 7 January 2004

image for Saint Paul Man Came Claims He Was First To Come Up With "Arnold vs. Arnold" Joke
David Brown and his Golden Brown Nuggets

Saint Paul, Minnesota

David Brown, a local meat packer, claimed Thursday that he was the first to make the observation that when Arnold Schwarzenegger ran for Governor of California against Gary Coleman, former child star best known for his portrayal of Arnold Drummond in the 1980s hit television series "Diff'rent Strokes", they should have called the race "Arnold vs. Arnold".

"Yeah, he did make some dumbass joke to that effect about 2 minutes after we saw on the news that they were both running," said his wife Eileen. "He's always making up stupid stuff like that, then he goes and gets all pissed when he sees Leno doing the same joke."

"You see, I have a witness, it's like there's some sort of conspiracy to steal my jokes," quipped Brown on hearing his wife's comments. At issue apparently is the fact that Brown has seen his joke co-opted on three separate occasions since he came up with the ‘Golden Brown Nugget' (as he likes to call his self-proclaimed ‘witty' observations), twice on different late night talk shows and once in a nationally syndicated comic strip.

"At first, I used to think it was a case of great minds thinking alike," observed Brown, "until one day it just seemed that it was happening too often. Back in the first Gulf War I was the first one to say that Iraq was backwards, so they should turn Saddam's name backwards too and call him what he really is…a Mad Ass. Next thing you know, I hear several jokes about ‘Madass Insane'. Then it wasn't more than a couple weeks later when another one of my Golden Brown Nuggets was showing up on all the talk shows, but I can't really remember what that one was off the top of my head, but I'm sure it was the same quality as all my Nuggets."

Fortunately, Brown has a sense of humor about the whole thing. He says he didn't always though. His moment of clarity came when he tried to sue a stand up comic over an alleged misappropriated quip he'd originally made a couple years back when Jennifer Lopez first started calling herself "J-Lo". "She seemed to be everywhere," Brown explained, "wherever you went it was J-Lo this and J-Lo that. My wife was complaining about how she couldn't turn on the news without seeing something about J-Lo, and that's when the Golden Brown Nugget of a lifetime struck me….'There's always room for J-Lo,' I told her. When I heard a stand up comic tell that joke on national TV about 2 months later, I hit the roof, but when I tried to sue him I learned the hard way that you just can't fight the system, not when the courts are in on it [stealing Brown's observations]. I mean, this comic was from Minnesota, and I was telling my always room for J-Lo Nugget to everyone at the meat packing plant, I mean, one of his friends or relatives probably works there and heard the joke and passed it on to him…it doesn't get any more obvious than that now does it?"

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