Written by Tom Taylor
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Tuesday, 13 March 2007

image for Stallone Not So Sly, Growth Hormone Doesn't Enlarge Brain
There'll be no gloves in prison.

Sylvester Stallone, The star of too many Rocky movies, has been caught illegally bringing Human Growth Hormone into Australia.

Speaking through an interpreter, Stallone said he had no idea how he'd been caught. "I was really careful. I hid it in my suitcases. The problem was that these customs guys were cleverer than me, they opened the suitcases."

According to Stallone, it was actually a very fortunate thing to have happen, as he'd forgotten the combination for his luggage. "Yeah, I want to thank the customs guys for opening them. I could have been stuck in the same clothes for days. Or worse, I might not have been able to get at my extra cash to buy more growth hormone while I was in Australia."

According to Australian Customs, Stallone tried, stupidly, to hide 48 vials of the hormone. According to Stallone, this would have lasted him until just past breakfast.

If found guilty, The action star could face up to five years in prison. Preparations are already underway to set the next Rocky and the next 2 Rambo films in a Prison.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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