Hollywood, CA-Late night talk show host Jay Leno revealed today that he used to be Gay. The announcement came as a shock to fans as well as to his own family. His wife said she never had a clue of him ever being Gay. "I'm clueless," she said in a prepared statement.
When asked how he first came to know that he was Gay, Leno stated, "I had always known I was Gay. In fact, my parents told me I was." He also claimed that friends and family were always calling him Gay.
As if this were not strange enough, Leno went on to say, "It even said I was Gay on my birth certificate."
Leno was then asked when the turning point was that he had decided that he wasn't Gay any more. "It was in my early teens," he explained. "I caught a lot of teasing, so I decided to make a change."
Critics are claiming that that is something you cannot change; that it's something you're born with. Leno disagreed. "I changed. Anyone can. I told everyone to start pronouncing my first name with a 'soft' G sound instead of the 'hard' G sound."
Stunned reporters were in a daze as if they had been hit upside the head with a rainbow colored corduroy throw-pillow. Leno continued, "Then I had my name legally changed from Gay to Jay. I used to be Gay Leno, now I'm Jay Leno. It's that simple, really."
The room was dead silent for a couple of minutes before Leno spoke up, "Yeah, I think Gay is French. But I'm not sure."
When asked if he had ever been attracted to guys he said, "What? Of course not. What kind of crazy question is that?!" A disappointed gaggle of mumbling entertainment reporters slowly packed their stuff and left the building.
A confused Jay was left standing at the podium asking, "What? Did I miss something here? Where's everybody going? Hey, I gotta new monologue I wanna try out. Hey, come back."