Written by Monkey Woods
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Monday, 12 March 2007

image for Charlotte Church Red-Faced Over Horse Revelations
An artists impression of Charlotte's foal

Singer-turned-TV presenter Charlotte Church has had a major setback after visting her prenatal clinic last week, when it emerged that she was not 'with child', but 'with foal'.

Church, who is from Wales, and therefore Welsh, is rumoured to have taken part in a recent film about horses, and it's thought that it was then that the 'incident' may have occurred.

The chanteuse, (that's French), who is exceedingly heavy, even without being made pregnant by a horse, has signed a three-year deal with the MCC to roll the wicket at Lords and The Oval.

Recently, she met with a fat man who thinks he is a comedian, Roy 'Chubby' Brown, to teach him some new swear words he didn't know.

"By 'eck! She's a porker all reet!", chirped the obese, ugly, unfunny knob from Middlesbrough.

"Meks me look like a long streak o' piss!"

Spotted coming out of a pastry shop in Cardiff with her face covered in strawberry jam, the 28-stone Church was asked if she had any names in mind for the 'child'.

"Ned", she quipped, "or Neddy."

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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