MALIBOO,CALIFORNIA (BREAKING NEWS) Pop Star gone mad, Britney Spears has disappeared from the Promises Rehab Center in Malibu by the Sea and her present whereabouts are unknown at this hour.
Dr. Shomee Damoney, group therapy counselor at the center, spoke to reporters at a news conference today. "This morning at 6:00 am, patient roll call was taken in our main hall. Ms. Spears was not among the inmates. When an aide went to wake her, she found pillows were fashioned to appear that Britney was asleep in bed. Immediately our security went into action to try and locate her. After one hour no trace of her had been found. Los Angeles Sheriffs were called in to investigate the disappearance & have discovered some disturbing facts & clues."
Lead Investigator, Lt. Ruff McGgruff is reporting some very unusual info surrounding this case. "After speaking with the staff psychiatrist, Dr. Lou Knee Bin, at the start of the patients initial interview, she spoke of a "demon" inside her which she has been trying to shake out for quite a while. Of course, Doctors thought she was a major psycho."
Dr. Bin says, "Naturally at first, we locked her in solitary confinement for our protection, until a member of our staff, handling incoming patients, found an anomaly in the photos they take of all patients who come into the facility. For legal reasons, these photo serve as a record of the physical make-up of the patient upon arrival, to show any welts & bruises or injury patients may show upon our intake procedures."
Doctors went down to the dark & dank basement and opened the massive rusty steel door and got her out and began questioning her. Ms. Spears again spoke of a gnome or muse, which lives inside her vaginal canal. She calls it, Skippy, the Bush Jig-a-boo. She told psychiatrists the reason she was walking around without panties is that she was trying to shake him out & that Skippy likes to eat hair, Curly or straight, so she shaved herself to starve him out. It didn't work he started to eat his own hair on his head.
The photos, obtained at the center, shows what looks like a specter or ghost-like object peering out at the camera from the nude backside of Ms. Spears. Law enforcement agencies are asking the public for help in locating Britney Spears and her little pal or If you have further information in this case. Please do not approach suspect if spotted. Call the Los Angeles Police Department or nearest office of the FBI.