London - (Rotters): Heather Mills has told a judge that her divorce from Paul McCartney should be based on what she has always charged. At around £500 per hour this reflects her age, looks and range of services. And takes into account that she stands a fat chance of ever hooking another gullible moron after UK males voted her their worst ever nightmare including anaesthetic-free vasectomy.
Mills sobbed in court as she recounted her hellish landslide to oblivion after crack began to appear in the marriage:
Her step children hated her, her charity clients dumped her, and former porn clients began suing after a pandemic of latent transmittable diseases began to surface.
Asking for a settlement of £360,000 per month took account of her true worth. Looking at the alternative of what movie rights, book deals and tabloid serialisations would pay in return for explicit details of her former clients this seemed a bargain.
"And that includes George W Bush and the retard they spawned toegther", her divorce lawyer told the hearing.
For many years the UK taxpayer has coughed up around £80 million per annum keeping up a Thatcher PR coverup after Charles and Diana's son William was killed in a 'revolver incident' at Kensington Palace when he was three.
The brainwave idea of immediately replacing the dead tot with the Mills/Bush changeling lookalike has proved a bi-partisan vote winner ever since.
Paul McCartney is 69.