Written by queen mudder
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Saturday, 3 March 2007

image for Britney's had her chips as Amy Winehouse voted UK Celebrity Top Potato
A potato sculpture of Madonna before liposuction

London - (Dissassociated Press): Endless months of getting mashed every night has ended with clit-flash pop diva Britney Spears finally being toppled as the nation's favorite hot potato in a London celebrity lookalike contest that voted Amy Winehouse UK's number one Spud-U-Like.

Madonna came second after judges decided her skin looked a bit saggy and wrinkly. And a Michael Jackson entry was disqualified after a sprouting protrusion, billed as his nose, fell off after too much exposure to daylight in the judging hall.

An anonymous entry simply billed as 'Brazilian' was given an honorary third place after somebody said it was really a painted plaster-cast of top model Naomi Campbell.

Britney was voted fourth because judges said the entry's hair extensions were a bit past their sell by and showed signs of potato blight.

The annual competition was first launched to find the ultimate Holy Potato bearing an image of Jesus or Mary but soon diversified after a whopper of the Queen Mum mounted by Saddam popped up on a gross 24oz King Edward during the Golden Jubilee.

Amy Winehouse is 21.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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