Written by Chester Longbottom

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Saturday, 3 January 2004

image for Lord of the Rings Trilogy to be Recalled
All that work for nought!

When somebody mentions the Lord of the Rings, you may think of one of two things. The first being a masterpiece by J.R.R Tolkien, and the second, 3 masterpieces by Peter Jackson. But starting immediately, the latter will disappear and become only a vague memory.

Peter Jackson skipped one important step in the epic movie-making process. While it is commonly known that the movie was filmed over the course of a year in New Zealand, the New Zealand Government (yes, they do in fact have one) was unaware of Jackson's plight to bring the wonderfully delightful Lord of the Rings to the big screen. And that kinda pissed them off.

New Zealand is playing their "Finally-our-country-is-worth-something" card, and they don't want to miss out on any of the royalties the multi-billion dollar movies have grossed since 2001. Manhung Wailow, Deputy Prime Minister of New Zealand was absolutely furious stating "I am rather displeased with Peter's actions in not coming to inform us of his intentions. I would have rather he had come and talk to us than be forced into taking such legal action. He has offended everything this country stands for and I will not have it while I am Deputy Prime Minister."

Jackson was apparently unaware of the need for permission from the Deputy Prime Minister and it has been reported that after being contacted by Wailow about this breach of protocol, he left a message on Wailow's answering machine stating, "Whoops." Jackson was unavailable for further comment.

Wailow's legal action will require all video and DVD copies of the world famous film to be returned and destroyed.

When asked about this, President Bush stated, "Hell, let's give 'em [New Zealand] the royalty money that they want. If they build nuclear weapons with it, we can go to war against them and make the world a safer place for everyone."

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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