A Spoof reporter fluent in baby talk came across this amazing news about the nine-month-old daughter of Brangelina.
Planning for the party began when Shiloh learned that her mom, Angelina Jolie, had called her a blob. Determined to prove her wrong, Shiloh is taking the initiative to get to work on a special celebration for her May birthday and is sharing details exclusively with The Spoof.
In the choice of celeb babies to make the 'cut,' Shiloh says that no druggies (although smoking a little marijuana if there's been no inhaling IS acceptable) or baldies (natural baldies okay, but buzzed baldies unacceptable) will be invited. Regarding the dress code, underwear MUST be worn to the party and be kept on for the duration of the affair.
Guests must sign (well, a thumbprint will do) agreements verifying 1) that they won't blab to the media any details about the birthday event, 2) that they don't plan on EVER registering as members of the Republican Party, and 3) that their ancestors didn't enslave black people. Shiloh reports that two prospective guests have already been ruled out: Barron William Trump ("greedy like his father and has a bad hair day just about every day") and Suri Cruise ("too haughty, needs to be taken down a peg").
Shiloh is in no hurry to select the guests and/or finalize party plans. In between taking big slugs of milk from her Sesame Street bottle, she explained to The Spoof reporter: "My parents have ants in their pants. We'll be traveling all over the world in the next three months. I'll have plenty of babies and places to choose from. The world is my oyster."