Written by Fergus McCarthy
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Tuesday, 27 February 2007

image for Barbie manufacturers Mattel to launch bald Britney Spears doll
The new "Bald Britney" doll in stores now.

Mattel president Jill. E. Barad announced today that they would be launching a new talking Britney Spears doll without any hair. The "Bald Britney" as she is to be called will also be programmed to utter random phrases such as "Hair today, gone tomorrow", "Oop's I did it again, I'm going insane, it must be the fame, I'm not that innocent!"

Ms Barad, responding to accusations that the doll could be a marketing exercise in bad taste said "Of course it is. Look at the Bratz dolls, millions of those ugly little bitches have been sold world wide and they are dressed like 10 dollar crackwhores. We are going to make a fortune on this one, we are saving on the hair and she wont be sold with panties either so thats another million bucks saved."

The "Bald Britney" will also sing a cover version of the Amy Winehouse song "They tried to make me go to rehab but I said no! no! no!"

A new Nicole Ritchie doll has also been released made out of pipe cleaners and a dolls head.
Paris Hilton and Lindsay Lohan dolls are ready to go into production as soon as they publicly lose the plot in sympathy with Miss Spears.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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