Written by WilKory
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Monday, 26 February 2007

image for Martin Scorsese wins Best Director for "The Departed"; Eyebrows win Best Supporting Director
He was happy to just receive the nomination

In a stunning upset at Sunday's Academy Awards, Martin Scorsese's eyebrows won the Oscar for Best Supporting Director, beating out Clint Eastwood's chin and Ron Howard's bald head.

"I'm in complete shock," said Scorsese's eyebrows, minutes after receiving the award from Owen Wilson's nose. "It was just an honor to be nominated in this category with such other prominent features. I mean, really, who can compete with George Lucas' beard?"

Scorsese won his first directing Oscar for "The Departed," a gritty double-crossing cop drama starring Leonardo DiCaprio, Matt Damon, and Jack Nicholson. The movie also won the award for Best Picture.

Nicholson commented, "Marty's eyebrows are just a pleasure to work with. There's so much energy there! They were obviously raised right."

When asked how they were going to celebrate, Scorsese's eyebrows said, "Man, we're gettin' waxed tonight!" In a surprising show of restraint, Mel Gibson's mouth had no comment.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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