Written by queen mudder
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Sunday, 25 February 2007

image for Luscious Penelope Cruz: Oscar is dream come true
Cruz in one of her previous performances

Hollywood - (Rotters): Luscious Spanish actress Penelope Cruz says she is still in a state of utter shock after taking the coveted Best Actress Oscar despite feverish British hustling for their very own diva Helen Mirren to rake in the spoils.

Cruz went on to deny that she had secretly been backed at odds of 5/1 by every British bookmaker in existence after UK mug-punters fell for the ultimate Oscar hoax and backed home-grown dreary, ageing Helen Mirren for the top award following her portrayal of a talented actress purported to be Queen Elizabeth II.

UK bookies have even been paying out ahead of tonight's award ceremony at odds of 1/66 on Mirren taking the spoils before realising they had to cover their losses at a price that was so ridiculously high that 'it would have been suicide to ignore'.

Helen Mirren is said to be 'gutted' just like the thespian she portrayed in The Queen.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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