Written by queen mudder
Print this
Topics: Helen Mirren

Sunday, 25 February 2007

image for Bookies to rake in fortune as Mirren spoofed for Oscar prize
Mirren: a class act at the end of a long and dreary cul-de-sac

Hollywod - (Riotous): Internet spread betting index Aintgottaprayer.com is reported to be sitting pretty tonight after millions of dumb punters poured a fortune on Dame Hellen Mirren winning the coveted 2007 Academy Award for her portrayal of a talented British character actress.

Insider sources say that ever since Penelope Cruz dumped Tom Cruise the movie industry agreed overwhelmingly to honor her talent with a Best Actress Oscar for her role in the film Volver.

"Nobody wants some wrinkly, ageing, botoxed, has-been Brit Dame to win the spoils when our very own lovely native talent is so much more f****ble", said a movie industry insider.

The feeble Mirren nomination is said to have been an industry lip-service spoiler for a done deal which will see Cruz's earnings soar to over $25 million per picture in 2008.

"Mirren is like Camilla: a class act at the end of a long and dreary cul-de-sac."

Odds on Pelenlope Cruz have now shortened dramatically to 2/1.

Make queen mudder's day - give this story five thumbs-up (there's no need to register, the thumbs are just down there!)

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

Do you dream of being a comedy news writer? Click here to be a writer!

More by this writer

View Story
View Story
View Story
View Story
View Story
View Story


Mailing List

Get Spoof News in your email inbox!


What's 4 multiplied by 4?

6 13 8 16
68 readers are online right now!

Go to top

We use cookies to give you the best experience, this includes cookies from third party websites and advertisers.

Continue ? Find out more