Written by queen mudder
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Topics: Helen Mirren

Sunday, 25 February 2007

image for Bookies to rake in fortune as Mirren spoofed for Oscar prize
Mirren: a class act at the end of a long and dreary cul-de-sac

Hollywod - (Riotous): Internet spread betting index Aintgottaprayer.com is reported to be sitting pretty tonight after millions of dumb punters poured a fortune on Dame Hellen Mirren winning the coveted 2007 Academy Award for her portrayal of a talented British character actress.

Insider sources say that ever since Penelope Cruz dumped Tom Cruise the movie industry agreed overwhelmingly to honor her talent with a Best Actress Oscar for her role in the film Volver.

"Nobody wants some wrinkly, ageing, botoxed, has-been Brit Dame to win the spoils when our very own lovely native talent is so much more f****ble", said a movie industry insider.

The feeble Mirren nomination is said to have been an industry lip-service spoiler for a done deal which will see Cruz's earnings soar to over $25 million per picture in 2008.

"Mirren is like Camilla: a class act at the end of a long and dreary cul-de-sac."

Odds on Pelenlope Cruz have now shortened dramatically to 2/1.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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