The first beaver to swin in the Bronx river in over 100 years was spotted by dock workers yesterday. Beavers had not been seen in the area due to development, construction, increasing pollution and human population, and the destruction of natural food sources.
Upon closer examination, it was discovered that the beaver was not a wild animal at all. It was actually attached to Paris Hilton, who was skinny dipping and trying to use the cold, icy water to revive her from a hangover.
"I've got to head to that rehab place later today and pick up Britney when she checks out again," said the socialite. "If I go in there bombed, they'll give me a hassle and try to make me a patient too."
Bottomless Paris and her natural beaver did pose for pictures with some of the dock workers after one offered her a towel to dry off and another gave her a cup of coffee.