Written by Ed E. Druckman
Rating:

Share/Bookmark
Print this

Saturday, 24 February 2007

(Hollywood--CA) Months after Mel Gibson's stream of consciousness courtesy of Jack Daniels anti-semitic monologue, TMZ.com, the site breaking the original, claims to have another scoop. It's an e-mail between Gibson and his publicist, Alan Nierob, in which Gibson says, "Oi, let's end all this meshugass, and just let the Jews crucify me."

Gibson's publicist immediately denied the e-mail. "Mel would never write such a thing. Would a person who hates Jews use the word 'meshugass'?" Nierob then corrected himself. "Not that Mel hates Jews, as much as he wishes they were just Christian. Actually, he'd prefer all Christians to be Catholic, but like pre-Vatican II, like 800 years pre."

Nierob went on to say that Gibson has made it a point since the incident to apologize to every Jew he knows. But since those were just his agent and business manager, the goose-stepping Oscar winner even decided to widen his path of contrition, also mentioned in the e-mail. "I know I need to find Jews," Gibson allegedly writes, "and I don't mean the type of Jews in L.A., but run of the kibbutz Jews, like the ones who wrongly killed our Lord." Again, Gibson's publicist claims this refutes the legitimacy of the e-mail. "Mel does not believe the Jews wrongly killed Jesus. Mel knows that by them handing Jesus over they guaranteed Mel, as a good Catholic, a place in heaven and the opportunity to produce a movie that cost him $25 million and to date has made him over $300 million."

Reaction from the Jewish community has been mixed. "We are glad that Mel Gibson has finally owned up to the fact that he made anti-Semitic remarks and welcome his efforts to repair the damage he has caused," said Abraham H. Foxman, national director of the Anti-Defamation League. However, former Van Halen front man and some times DJ, David Lee Roth, was not as forgiving. "I've held this back for years as a fan," said Roth. "But now all bets are off. Mel, your accent in Lethal Weapon passed for American as much as my comb-over passes for a full head of hair."

The exact damage to Gibson's future projects from this recent leak has yet to be felt but, through his publicist, Gibson remains confident. "If all else fails, Mel is confident that he could always be a speechwriter for Jerry Falwell or George Bush."

Make Ed E. Druckman's day - give this story five thumbs-up (there's no need to register, the thumbs are just down there!)

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

If you fancy trying your hand at comedy spoof news writing, click here to join!

Print this


Share/Bookmark

Mailing List

Get Spoof News in your email inbox!

Email:

What's 3 plus 3?

4 6 1 3

Go to top