Written by TomFoolery
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Topics: Reality TV

Thursday, 22 February 2007

image for 'Wife Swap' Spawns 'Three's Company' Comeback
There are some obvious benefits...

HOLLYWOOD-(TV Guide) There's a new saying down at ABC Studios: Too much of a good thing is just the thing! The ratings-grabbing smash hit WIFE SWAP's latest episode had quite the unexpected ending. Let's cut right to the chase--There's no going back...Literally!

Here's the scene: Two families do a feminine flip-flop to get a glimpse of how the other half, so to speak, lives. Crafty ABC mogul masterminds scour the landscape looking for unlikely lifestyle opposites so diametrically opposed that it's hard to believe aren't aspiring wannabe actors thrown together for a few bucks and a few laughs. That's what WE thought, too.

Only this time, the joke ended up with egg on ABC's face. Milwaukee dance instructor and part time medical research subject Harry Backman threw everyone for a loop when he refused to relinquish his momentary mate at the end of the temporary trade-off.

"Hey, I love my wife, don't get me wrong," exclaimed an adamant Harry. "But I never dreamed another woman could tickle my fancy the way Sheila did. Plus, I've always known that there's more to me than just one woman can handle. Now with two wives, I'll have the best of both worlds. All the housework will get done and with two women sharing domestic and "wifely" duties, I'll never live in a dump or get bored with "the same old thing" night after night. Know what I mean?" It was love at second sight for this now twice happy hubby. Let's just hope that those "headaches" don't ever coincide, eh?

No wonder old Harry is so happy. Once Sheila Dorya revealed herself to be a professional therapeutic masseuse and part time lap dancer, it was a done deal. Sheila agreed to stay with Harry, lamenting, "My old husband always complains I rub him the wrong way."

The ratings potential of this serendipitous phenomenon set ABC program directors' minds a whirl. Deciding to offer the real people the starring roles, the erstwhile soon-to-be prime time "players" were thrilled at the prospect of becoming telecelebrities. Filming will revive the old Three's Company set, long over due for an extreme make-over. But that's a whole other series.

To preclude Harry being charged with bigamy, Sheila will simply shack up, though she'll have rights, privileges and responsibilities equal to those of Harry's "other woman."

ABC is hedging their bets. Should the "arrangement" become too much for the woman, plans are already in the works to partner with ESPN to have the fuming females settle their differences in a pay-per-view mud wrestling Smackdown Xtravaganza.

Any way you look at it, neither Harry nor ABC has anything to lose except perhaps their dignity. The ladies, well, it's amazing what a few bucks can do to wash away all that shame and disgrace.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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