London - (Rotters): Heather Mills has signed up to appear on the US show Pole Dancing with the Stars next month ahead on an ambitious programme to promote her artistic comeback.
The show is the American version of the BBC's Strictly Come Pole Dancing and features all an audience might expect from a typical night out at the Spearmint Hippo lapdancing club.
Heather's agent described the move today as: "something that might take her mind off some of the difficulties she's been having since the days she was born".
These might include relentless self-publicity, overwhelming lack of talent of any kind whatsoever and a desire to earn easy money promoting rubbish.
Clearly disability is no obstacle to her next career path and her agent is adamant that "she skis with an artificial limb and runs, cycles and generally promotes herself as a one legged heroine who has tragically fallen victim to a coldhearted multi-millionaire soon to be ex-husband".
So one-legged pole dancing for gormless American morons should not be exactly too much of a challenge.