Yes, you heard it here first. Britney Spears farted, not even a very big fart as farts go. If farts were rated on a scale of 1 to 10 this one would barely have tipped the scales a paltry 3.5.
None the less the media flew into a high gear, "Britney alert," making a slot in the news schedule for the, "Britney farted out loud story".
Once Britney farts it initiates a cavalcade of activity in the media centers across the nation. Questions like, when was the last time she farted, how much gas was emitted. what was the methane content in parts per million, did the plume put the public in any danger, where and what did Britney eat to cause such an offensive reaction, how was the smell?
These important questions and more have to be researched categorized, confirmed, filed, up loaded, down loaded, incorporated, teleprompted and announced in a seconds notice.
The flurry of activity set off by a Britney Spears fart could be compared to that of a full blown military operation in Iraq. The logistics of following through with a heavy hitting story like this are staggering.
President of CNN programming Barry Levin said, To get these important issues out to the public is our goal, the undeniable truth is our commitment.
Britney farting may not seem like such a big deal to you and me but in some circles it passes for the gas that fuels an industry.
From the desk of
Buck E Filbert
Feb 20 2007