Britney Spears has been through a lot in the past few months. The media has made a lot of speculations in regards to her behaviour. The Spoof picks up the exclusive story in her continuing media saga.
This past weekend, a puffy looking Spears went into Esther's Salon and demanded her head be shaved. Employee's of the salon refused, causing spears to throw a tantrum. "She was flinging feces everywhere." An employee of the salon remembers. Hysterical Spears then grabbed a set of clippers and began shaving her chocolate locks.
"I could feel them crawling." Britney said of the lice. It's been so long since I filed for the divorce, I didn't think it would take this long to get rid of them. Britney has been struggling with severe cases of body and head lice since her split from Kevin Federline. "With Kevin gone, there is no one around to pick my nits. We were so cute, we'd sit like chimps and pick off each other's lice. Now he's gone and I can't control it. The boys aren't big enough yet."
Since Britney has tried everything to remove the lice. She has popped in at various emergency rooms and rehab clinics in the hopes that she can score a lotion strong enough, or at least transfer the lice to another junkie.
"It's all I can do for now. Unless another Kevin comes along."