Britney Spears, supporting a new chrome dome, revealed today the simple and embarrasing reason for her new look: head lice.
"I musta caught them fellers off of a pillow from some guy when I was out partying with Paris," said the slightly red-faced singer. "You know how dirty them cheap motels can be, and you know how cheap Paris can be too."
When informed that the modern treatment for head lice does not include washing the head in kerosene and shaving yourself bald, Spears was slightly embarrased. "You mean I went into that hardware store and bought that stuff and did this to myself for nothing! They got medicines now for this? Damn! Those kids woulda killed me if they was older. This is how we always done it down south."
When asked if she had also shaved her vagina because of lice, she said "Paris told me them was just crabs, but I guess they was probably head lice to. See, they like to live in hair. They probably moved from that part to my head when I shaved it."
Britney's hair is now for sale on e-bay. Proceeds from the sale will help fund educational opportunities (like school) for her children that Ms. Spears never had.