Fans of schmaltzy crooner, Daniel O' Donnell, are in mourning today after the news that his plastic surgery has gone terribly wrong.
The squeaky clean singer, who makes Peter Pan of pop Cliff Richardson look edgy, was reported to want to enhance his Irish good looks, so he went to Hollywood surgeon Finbar O' Chancer and asked for the "full Irish"
The distraught singer told us:
"I went to this guy as he was recommended highly and asked that he perhaps enhance my Hibernian appeal. You know, dark brooding eyes angular cheek bones that sort of thing? A sort of Pierce Brosnan vibe kinda thing.
So he put me under and when I came round he suggested that I left the bandages on for a week or so before removing them. When we finally did I thought that he had done a tremendjus job all together. It just seems that the middle-aged housewives hate it and I'm fecked if I know why!"
Madge Blooprat, secretary of Daniel's UK fan club, was unable to speak properly but told us through the tears:
"Ah no! Why did he feckin' do it? He looks like Anthony Worrell Thompson now. He was lovely before this"