Written by queen mudder
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Friday, 16 February 2007

image for Cameron Diaz accepts megabux damages
Germ-free megabux damages awarded today

Hollywood - (Rioters): The germophobic starlet Cameron Diaz has won substantial damages from a US sleaze rag that said her relationship with Justin Timberlake had been contaminated by her two-timing with married MTV producer Shane Nickerson.

"It was never with the MTV guy haha, and now they gotta pay up for smearing me", said the star of memorable pics such as Shwrecked, Gangbangs of New York, Fear and Loathing in Las Palmas, In Her Screws and Churlish Angels.

National Enquirer publishers American Media Incorporated ran a story on their website saying that the deeply germophobic Diaz had habitually rubbed the offending knob 'so hard that his foreskin fell off'.

"Got 'em right there, the guy was circumcised before I ever met him", she laughed.

The news of her libel court success is crowned by her appearance today with former US Vice President Al Gore at the launch of the Live Earth environemtnal awareness show on 7 July this year.

Clearly in a buoyant and confident mood after her libel victory, Diaz told the press that "Our planet is in danger. But at least someone is doing something about it. And that man is Al Gore!"

Giving the former VP a congratulatory hug, Diaz perplexed many of her fans who have read her personal mission statement that "I'm not into other people's fluids unless I know them really well and wouldn't touch a man with a bargepolce unless there was something really bigbux in it for me."

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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